Peace & the Single Mom
I am living proof that prayer works!
By Jennifer Maggio (The Life of a Single Mom)
We begin to move into trust, understanding that although we don’t know the outcome of a situation, we know God will work things for our good within the outcome.
To the overwhelmed, exhausted, worn-out, and stressed single mother looking for hope, this is for you.
Maybe you are at a place today where peace has been replaced with worry and calm replaced with anxious moments.
If you’re honest, you are on the brink of throwing in the towel. I hope you’ll find a calm that only comes from our King.
Peace & the Single Mom
Philippians 4:6 KJV
[6] Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
How do I NOT worry?
I’m almost embarrassed to tell you this, but here goes. I like 90-degree angles, organized closets, made beds, and punctuality.
And I’m totally Type A in every way.
In fact, I’m so over-the-top that I once finished trimming my yard with a pair of scissors when my lawn mower broke in the middle of my weekly lawn care!
I am an attention-to-detail sort of girl, to say the least.
And nothing seems worse to me than when the details don’t work out as I planned.
Enter single motherhood. Like you, I never imagined myself as a single mother.
And many days seemed completely out of control. This led to immense worry in my early days of single parenting.
What if it didn’t work out?
And What if my kids weren’t going to be okay?
Ahh! What if I didn’t have enough to provide?
And frankly, the what-ifs completely wore me out. I spent more time worrying than living.
Peace & the Single Mom
Step 1 to experiencing peace as a single mom: Don’t worry about anything.
I realize that’s much easier said than done but take a look at the Scripture.
The Scripture doesn’t teach us not to worry about anything, except if we’ve received a cancer diagnosis, are going through an ugly divorce, or we’re parenting alone.
The Scripture teaches us that we should lay down the worry for all areas of our lives despite what we are going through.
I love what Jesus says in Matthew 6:24-27.
That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear.
Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?
Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them.
And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
In other words, what does worrying do anyway?
Does it change our situation?
And Does it offer great insight that helps us problem solve?
Or, Does it add value to the circumstance? No.
Do you know what I’ve found that worrying does?
It causes physical and mental health issues, e.g., racing heart, sweats, increased blood pressure, headaches, etc.
Further, it births a bad attitude within me that usually results in me being short with my coworkers or losing my temper with my children.
We know the God of all hope. We are in an intimate relationship with him.
He knew us before we were born and has plans to prosper us.
The temporary challenges of our present-day circumstances are just that – temporary.
We must retrain our thinking to constantly lay down the worrisome thoughts as they enter,
and be reminded of God’s faithfulness in past seasons, taking care to thank him for all he’s done, tell him what we need, and pray constantly.
Peace & the Single Mom
Point to Ponder:
Make a list of the most thought-consuming worries you are facing. Make a second list of the faithful ways God has responded to similar things in a prior season.
Peace & the Single Mom
Prayer is the first strategy, not the last.
I must admit that in my early years of teaching single moms Bible study, I was terrified of public prayer.
I was convinced I wasn’t going to do it right, say the wrong thing, or not sound spiritual enough.
And the more I thought about that fear, the more I realized I felt that way about praying in my personal prayer time, too.
Was I praying good enough to the Lord?
And Was I doing it right?
Do you know what I learned?
My Father wants to hear from his daughter, the same way we want to hear from our children.
The words don’t matter near as much as the heart behind them does.
He loves us and wants to know what is on our hearts.
Peace & the Single Mom
Step 2 to experiencing peace as a single mom: Pray about everything.
Get good at prayer.
No, I don’t mean eloquent or perfect in word choice.
(In fact, Jesus rebuked the haughty spirit in which the Pharisees often approached public prayer in Luke 18:10-14.)
I mean, get good at falling to your knees and getting before the throne of God to petition the Lord about all the things that burden you,
and tempt to consume you with worry, the things that are stealing your peace.
I am living proof that prayer works!
Our prayer accomplishes much. I had a praying mother and grandmother.
Also, I had friends and Sunday school teachers who believed in God for my life when my life was ugly, chaotic, and confusing.
I’ve prayed over my children in a way that I knew shifted the atmosphere in the room in a way that only a mother could have.
In the most anxious moments of my life, I can take my burdens to the Lord in prayer, and so can you. We can cry out to the creator of heaven and earth.
And We can call out to the one who is in the mountain-moving business, the one who has faithfully delivered us from past hardships and trouble.
We can pray without ceasing, day and night, making our requests known to him.
The more engaged in prayer we are, the more we can palpably feel the presence of the Holy Spirit with us.
The Holy Spirit empowers us to lay down worry.
Pray about old wounds of abuse.
And ..Pray about festering unforgiveness.
Also ….Pray about rejection and insecurity that has caused you to make poor choices.
Bring it all before the Lord.
(And) Peace will flow as we confidently rest, knowing that God hears our prayers and is working things out on our behalf.
Peace & the Single Mom
Points to Ponder:
Take the time to write down a Scripture on prayer. Meditate on it this week unless you memorize it.
Get in the habit of praying with your children nightly.
Peace & the Single Mom
Get grateful.
One of my dearest friends and I have known each other for more than twenty years.
Years ago, we both lived in the same apartment complex and often shared meals to save money.
We had very little to call our own.
As young single moms, we had furnished our government-issued apartments, albeit sparingly,
with previously owned, heavily-used furniture, bedding, dishes, and the like.
Often, we were the thankful recipients of others’ throwaways.
We stretched every dollar farther than imaginable. And We worked long hours and often had more debt than dollars.
Also, We clipped coupons, worked multiple jobs, held garage sales, etc. – whatever was necessary to ensure we provided for our young families.
Something about my friend struck me years ago, and it is still true today.
She is the most grateful woman I have ever met. I mean, she is truly, truly grateful.
Whatever the season, this girl just oozes thanksgiving. Sadly, I cannot say I exhibit that same gratitude every day.
Peace & the Single Mom
Step 3 to experiencing peace as a single mom: Thank God for what He’s done.
Gratitude cannot co-exist with complaining, grumbling, and whining. I know that for sure! I’ve done my fair share of the aforementioned!
But I am also convinced that anxiety and worry will have a hard time co-existing when we have a heart and mind filled with a grateful spirit for all God has done.
We cannot focus on lack and expect to experience the peace of God.
It is God’s will for us to live an abundant life, according to Jesus’ own words. (See John 10:10).
As we are reminded about all he has provided – family, friends, church, job, transportation, health, joy, salvation, children, laughter –
…we become less consumed with how he’ll provide for the next thing.
But We begin to move into trust, understanding that although we don’t know the outcome of a situation,
And we know God will work things for our good within the outcome.
Gratitude helps position our hearts with a softness towards our Heavenly Father;
as we recognize his generosity to us, already paying the ultimate price for our salvation and freedom.
This fosters peace in the middle of life’s storms.
Peace & the Single Mom
Points to Ponder:
Create a gratitude jar or box for the family. Have each member of the family put one thing weekly they are grateful for. Discuss it over dinner.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 KJV
[18] In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Peace & the Single Mom
Think about what you are thinking about.
Take a look back at the. You’ll note that Philippians 4:6-7 gives us the recipe for peace:
refusing to worry, praying about everything, thanking God for his provision, and telling God what we need.
But then, those instructions are followed by the words in verse 8.
Step 4 to experiencing peace as a single mom: War against your thought-life.
What are you spending most of your time thinking about?
Do you dwell on how it will never work out?
And Do you think about how you’ll never find “the one”?
Also, Do you focus too much on comparing yourself to others, what they have, and how easy their lives must be?
Or, Do you focus on how your children don’t measure up to the neighbors’ children?
The list goes on and on.
We often accept Satan’s lies of manipulation as truth for our lives, and it rules our thought-life.
However, Scripture teaches that we are to think about what is true, honorable, right, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy, and pure.
Consider this.
Is what you are thinking about actually true?
And Is there really NO WAY that God can work this situation out?
Or Is it really IMPOSSIBLE?
Well, his Word says that we can do all things through Christ, who gives us strength.
His Word says that the faith of a mustard seed moves the mountain.
And His Words say that he will supply all our needs.
Moreso, His Words say he will place the lonely in families. And so much more!
God’s Word is a lamp to our feet, constantly guiding us into all truth.
His Word is our truth in tough situations, despite how we may feel.
We must meditate on the truth of his word in order to take captive every thought and embrace his peace.
Peace & the Single Mom
Points to Ponder:
What lie have you been meditating on that you need to take captive today?
Philippians 4:8 KJV
[8] Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Peace & the Single Mom
What are you growing?
Have you created an environment of rich ground for peace to flourish?
The Holy Spirit gives us peace.
Have you created an environment in your home, work, car, family,
and mind where the Spirit can move freely, gently correcting when needed, offering hope when things would seem hopeless to the world?
Or do you create an environment that stunts growth?
Peace & the Single Mom
Step 5 to experiencing peace as a single mom: Check your soil!
As a Believer, God says when we love him, we keep his commandments.
We do what he asks of us because we love him and want to honor him.
Sin can overwhelm our hearts and create painful wounds, offense, and manipulation that seems impossible to recover from.
We can’t allow the things that don’t honor the Lord into our lives, e.g., immorality, greed, pride, dishonesty, etc., and expect that we’ll still experience the peace of God.
We aren’t creating a rich ground for peace. God’s peace – his favor & blessing – is upon obedience.
It’s his divine order of things.
Peace comes when we’ve been planted and rooted in the soil of holiness and righteousness, communing with God daily.
It is the truth that sets us free and brings us peace.
Create rich soil full of daily devotion to him, reading his Word, praying and praising, and gathering with his children.
This soil produces the good fruit of peace and many other nutrients, including love, gentleness, and patience.
We must be honest in self-evaluation about unconfessed sin or dry soil that needs watering.
Ignoring these things can rapidly grow weeds, such as bitterness, chaos, and confusion, that can easily consume our thoughts and choke out peace.
Bring it before the Lord, asking him to search your heart.
Peace & the Single Mom
Points to Ponder:
Is your heart open to God’s plans for your life? Are you willing to change some things in your life that don’t align with His plan? How so?
Also Read: Your Marriage is a Story – Diademng (thediademng.org)
Peace & the Single Mom
For more on experiencing peace as a single mom, check out the full book, Peace and the Single Mom: 50 Moments of Calm in the Chaos, at www.thelifeofasinglemom.com
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