Your Marriage is a Story
“When you see your life as something that God has a hand on — whether it is the “text of your life” or the “book of your heart” — the most vivid way to think about it is as a story”.
Wherever you are in your marriage, you are in the middle of a story.
Like writing an actual story, you can approach your marriage in one of two ways:
Aimlessly, going with whatever pops in your mind on a given day, or, Intentionally, based on a deep study of other great stories.
Learn how to model your marriage on the greatest love story ever told: The Gospel.
By: Ignite SF
Your Marriage is a Story
If you want a good marriage story, you should at least know of a good love story you can reference and study?
Thankfully, the Bible is not just a love story, it’s a great love story.
It’s not just one where the characters fall in love. It’s a story where the readers, themselves, fall in love.
2 Corinthians 3:2-3 KJV
[2] Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men:
[3] forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.
Whether you’re still dating or have been married for decades, you are in a story.
In particular, you’re in your marriage story.
That may seem like a strange idea. But our lives are, in fact, a “text.” God is referred to as the author of your life.
“and you killed the Author of life, whom God raised from the dead. To this we are witnesses.” (Acts 3:15 ESV)
Paul refers to life as a “letter…written on our hearts.”
“You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all.
And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” (2 Corinthians 3:2-3 ESV)
But think for a moment: what kind of written word has real impact?
What is it that touches people’s hearts?
When you want to share important moments about yourself with someone else, you probably don’t call it your “life letter.” You call it your “life story.”
So, when you see your life as something that God has a hand on — whether it is the “text of your life” or the “book of your heart” — the most vivid way to think about it is as a story.
“GOD made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start.
Now I’m alert to GOD ’s ways; I don’t take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together, and I’m watching my step.
GOD rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.” (Psalm 18:20-24 MSG)
So, if your life is part of a story, it means your marriage is also a story.
Your Marriage is a Story
Many couples focus on their engagement story.
After all, isn’t that one of the most common questions asked, “How did you meet? How did he or you propose?”
But if the stories you tell others and each other before you get married are important, shouldn’t the story of your marriage be just as meaningful and rich?
If this is true, then every married couple should invest in knowing the difference between a good story and a bad story.
How would you describe your current “marriage story” right now?
If you were to be asked what makes for a “good” marriage story, what do you think the important elements should be?
How Should You Model Your Marriage Story?
If you do see your marriage as a story, the next likely question is the following: what makes for a good marriage story?
After all, some stories are good: you want to retell them, you want to reread or rewatch them.
Some stories aren’t so good: reading or watching feels like a waste of time.
Some are so bad you want to walk away in the middle.
Isn’t this similar to marriage?
Your Marriage is a Story
How, then, can you make sure your marriage is a good story?
Imagine the following: you’re about to board an all-day flight and can choose one of two books to bring.
The first book was written by someone who studied the best stories in history, learned what were the key elements that made those stories so great.
The second book was written by someone who was just winging it and has never even read a great story.
Which book would you bring on your flight?
Most likely, you’d prefer the book written by a writer who read, studied, and appreciates good stories.
Couldn’t the same apply to your marriage story?
That if you want a good marriage story, you should at least know of a good love story you can reference and study?
Thankfully, the Bible is not just a love story, it’s a great love story. It’s not just one where the characters fall in love.
It’s a story where the readers, themselves, fall in love.
In fact, the Scriptures liken the Gospel to a marriage.
When Paul refers to Christ’s sacrifice for the church, he compares it to a husband’s love for his wife.
“This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:32-33 ESV
We know that, in principle, the Gospel and all of the Scriptures have the power to shape the arc of our life.
God, himself, is able to “rewrite the text of your life.”
But how exactly does your marriage story retell this love story of the Bible?
The way to do this is to borrow a technique used by screenwriters of blockbuster movies.
Ephesians 5:32-33 KJV
[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[33] Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
If you had to describe the Bible as a “love story,” what would you say?
Why would someone have a marriage not modeled after a great love story?
What could such a marriage look like?
Your Marriage is a Story
The Beats to Your Marriage Story
Earlier in this message, we shared how your marriage is a story. It’s one authored by God.
And that to craft a good marriage story, one should reflect the Gospel.
How do you do that?
Here’s the answer: by taking a page from the writers of Hollywood blockbusters.
Those experienced storytellers break down their scripts into “beats.”
Many amazing stories share the same “beats” while having little else in common.
For example, Harry Potter and Star Wars are two different, but popular, films.
But writers often say that these two movies hit the same “beats.”
And that by doing so, both have tapped into something that touches the world.
So, what are these critical “beats” your marriage story should hit to be a great story?
Let’s go through an abbreviated retelling of the Gospel to uncover seven of them:
This love story between mankind and God begins as the perfect relationship.
However, humans disobey, ignore, and betray God over and over, damaging the once-perfect union.
Despite this, God forgives. Forgiveness is one of the critical beats of a love story.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 ESV
God seeks to restore the broken relationship from eternal separation. To do so, He sends his son on a great Adventure (second beat): to save the world.
“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.” 1 John 4:9 ESV
Despite Jesus’ efforts to bring people the truth, mankind does not believe him.
As a result, the rulers of the day murder him. For many, his Death (third beat) means all is lost.
When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:30
However, three days later, His Resurrection (fourth beat) proves that Jesus has the power to bring life to a dead relationship.
We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father,
we too might walk in newness of life. Romans 6:4
Because he overcame death, Jesus paid down man’s debt to God. The Redemption (fifth beat) of mankind has been completed.
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, Ephesians 1:7
As a result of this miracle, some people have a Revelation (sixth beat) that changes their life: this is what true love looks like.
Then the eyes of the blind will be opened
And the ears of the deaf will be unstopped. Isaiah 35:5
With their eyes opened and their spirits reborn, they experience Freedom (seventh beat) from self-condemnation and religious bondage.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
Each one of these seven beats is a key story point in the Gospel.
But they can also show up in your own marriage story.
When you can unearth those and tell them as part of your marriage, your marriage gains strength, meaning, and purpose.
Isaiah 35:5 KJV
[5] Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
Your Marriage is a Story
Also Read: When I Fell in Love – Diademng (thediademng.org)
When you want to share important moments about yourself with someone else, you probably don’t call it your “life letter.” You call it your “life story.”
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