The greatest test of friendship is loyalty.

A friend loves at all times, no matter what happens. In the best of times and the worst of times, through thick and thin, a friend will be there for you.

Do you really have friends?

Are you loyal to your friends? Can you keep friendly relationships?

These and other questions will be answered in this message.

You will find wisdom from a man who had many people around him, and learned the value of loyal and real friendship.

It is not easy to have real friends when you are the king.

By: Jeff Wells

How To Identify Real Friends

Who is your companion?

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Pat Morley, the founder of the highly effective men’s ministry Man in the Mirror, recounted a conversation about friendship: 

Once I boasted to an acquaintance, quite sincerely, that I had hundreds of friends.

Without pause he said,

“No you don’t. You may have met hundreds of people, but there’s no way you can really know more than a handful of people. You’d be lucky if you had three real friends.”

At first, I was offended that he thought he knew so much about my situation.

But as I reflected on what he said, I realized that I had a thousand acquaintances but, at that moment in time, less than three genuine friends.

I’ve worked on this area of my life, and today I believe I have five real friends including my wife.

Morley is right. Friendship is a rare and precious gift.

Friendship can be hard and frustrating, and it will cost us time and energy.

But friendship can be so good. It can be a source of incredible pleasure, encouragement, and comfort.

Friendship is a priceless gift of God.

But friendship is much more.

We become, to a large extent, like our friends.

This may not be true of acquaintances, but with our friends, we tend to become like them over the years.

We tend to adopt their values, their attitudes, their convictions, and their interests.

For good or ill, we will become like our friends.

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20).

If friendship is so life shaping, how vital it is that we choose our friends wisely.

How vital it is that our kids choose their friends wisely.

What do you look for in a friend? What impresses you?

Is it money?

A charismatic personality?

 A great sense of humor?

Unusual giftedness?

These are not bad things, but they are not the traits you should look for in a friend. 

Rather, the Bible says to look for wise friends.

Look for friends with godly wisdom, friends who understand what really matters in life.

Also, Look for friends who know God and walk with God. For God tells you that one day, you will become like the friends you choose.  

The greatest test of friendship is loyalty.

Loyalty, Is it important?

“A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.”

The greatest test of friendship is loyalty.

A friend loves at all times, no matter what happens.

In the best of times and the worst of times, through thick and thin, a friend will be there for you.

Above all else, a friend is loyal.

A loyal friend will never betray you or undermine you. A loyal friend will never gossip about you, for a friend loves at all times.

If you lose your job and go through all your savings, a real friend will offer to help or anonymously get you money, for a friend loves at all times.

If you get a serious disease, your friend will be there. And If you lose your marriage, your friend will be there.

Yes! If a loved one dies, your friend will be there.

He will call you, reach out to you, and come to be with you, for a friend loves at all times.

If you get too big for your britches, if you begin to wander from God,

and if you have a blind spot that is hurting you, your friend will be the one to confront you and challenge you,

for a friend loves at all times, and your welfare is more important than his comfort.

If something wonderful happens to you, like a big promotion, a significant raise, or a huge bonus, your friend will be glad with you.

Genuinely, deeply glad, for a friend loves at all times.

If you are discouraged, worried, or hurting, and you need someone who will just listen to you without being judgmental, even if it is 2 a.m…,

…then you know you can call your friend, for a friend loves at all times.

This kind of friend, a loyal friend, a friend who loves at all times, is an incredible gift of God.

The question is not: Do I have friends like this?

The question is rather: Am I a friend like this? 

Proverbs 17:17 KJV

[17] A friend loveth at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.
https://bible.com/bible/1/pro.17.17.KJV 

The greatest test of friendship is loyalty.

Wounds that heal

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

An enemy may tell us what we want to hear. A real friend will tell us what we need to hear.

All of us have blind spots. All of us have flaws, weaknesses, and sins.

We need people in our lives who will challenge us gently and lovingly. People who know us. People we trust.

All of us need people like this in our lives.

In fact, if we do not have people like this, we are in trouble.

We might be headed for a disaster.

Certainly, we will never become the man or woman that God intends us to become.

If you are married, surely your spouse challenges you—hopefully, in a gentle and loving way.

But you need more than your spouse.

You need friends, real friends, who love you enough to confront you.

And You need a small group, a group where there is genuine community and not pseudo-community.

We all need people like this in our lives. It is simply God’s way of transforming people.

To challenge someone is an act of love. It’s never fun, but you don’t do it because it’s fun, you do it because you care about the person.

That’s why parents have no problem confronting their kids.

They care.

Parents are more concerned with loving their kids than pleasing their kids.

They are lovers, not pleasers, when it comes to their children.

If you are a lover, you confront. If you are a pleaser, you shrink back in cowardice.

I offer two cautions:

If someone is not open to challenge or not teachable, don’t go to them.

“Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you”

Go directly to the person.

If you go to someone who is not part of the problem or part of the solution, that’s gossip, not love.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”

Don’t get carried away with challenging people.

God has not given you the spiritual gift of criticism.

But if you love someone, there will be times when you need to challenge them.

Perhaps it’s a problem with pride, a problem with honesty, a problem with drinking, or a problem with the way they treat their spouse.

When these occasions arise, go to the person. Lovingly, gently, and humbly go for their sake because you care. 

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” 

Also Read: Friendship: Wisdom From 91 Years Old – Diademng

The greatest test of friendship is loyalty.

DCM Note:We would like to thank Jeff Wells for providing this Message.