Single With A Difference

“There is a difference between loneliness and being alone, we can be alone without being lonely”.

Reviewer: David Oletu

With all sense of responsibility, Faith Oyedepo tells us in this Book, “now that we are still single, this is the best time to find out the reason for our existence”.

According to Faith Oyedepo, ‘to miss the reason is to live in misery’.

Faith Oyedepo’s ‘Single With a Difference” resonates deeply with me because I am still single.

Perhaps, in the next two or three years, I will be a married man, and I am certain that my marriage will be blessed and blissful.

Thanks to our exemplary fathers and mothers of faith like Faith Oyedepo for their good counsel to us “singles”.

Book Title: Single With A Difference

Book Author: Faith Oyedepo

Page Count: 353

Publication Date: July 4, 2019

Book Reviewer: David Oletu

Single With A Difference

I describe Faith Oyedepo’s ‘Single With A Difference’ as that timely manual that has come to guide the feeble minds of those single humans,

who, without the right conviction and preparation, have been driven insane by the thing called ‘love’ and ‘affection’.

According to Ecclesiastes 3:1, everything on earth is designed to function according to times and seasons.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV

[1] To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

https://bible.com/bible/1/ecc.3.1.KJV  

Using the above scriptural verse as a reference,

Faith Oyedepo reminds us that we are not excluded from those creations designed to operate in times and seasons.

Faith Oyedepo discovers that many singles are consumed with wanting to move to the next phase of life, which is being married,

that they fail to realise the beauty of their present single phase and, as a result, miss out on the enormous plan and purpose of God for them in their single phase.

You may ask: Is Faith Oyedepo trying to tell us not to think of marriage when we are single?

No!

Her message is simple:

There is beauty in every phase of life, and we should utilise it well and not feel too eager or pressured to rush into the next phase.

Once we get it right in a particular phase, no doubt the next will be a blessed one, for every phase in life has a way of affecting each other.

For instance, when a child is not properly brought up, there is every possibility that the child’s teenage or youthful phase will be terribly affected.

Likewise, when you don’t get it right in your single days, there is every possibility that your marriage suffers for the mistakes you made in the days you were single.

Dear Singles!

Get it right now, so your tomorrow won’t be affected.

Faith Oyedepo says, Your now is the womb that births your future; it is the painter of your tomorrow.

And It is a seed that determines the kind of harvest you will reap later in your life.

Therefore, whatever you desire to find in your future life, this is the best time for you to set a pace for it by the way you handle your single years.

This book is written in 15 chapters and loaded with thousands of edifying words that were not only produced based on observations or experiences,

but backed by solid facts, biblical references, and testimonies.

Single With A Difference

Chapter 1 reveals to us the beauty of singleness.

For those of you who always feel oppressed whenever you see people who are in a courtship or marriage relationship, you may wonder what could be beautiful about being single.

Well, you don’t need to feel intimidated.

The Oxford Dictionary may have described singleness as the state of someone being unmarried, divorced, separated from their spouse, or widowed,

but Faith Oyedepo defines it as meaning to be a whole, distinct, and successful individual,

capable of initiative and having the capacity to contribute to and enrich other people’s lives.

With her definition of singleness, she strongly debunks a widely held perception of singlehood that makes us feel like being single is a crime.

She asserts that being single doesn’t mean we are substandard or incomplete.

She encourages us to never entertain such thoughts, stating categorically that being single is neither a crime nor a disease.

It is a blessing, a plus, not a minus, an addition, not a subtraction, and it is simply a phase of life that holds undeniable benefits for those who utilise it well.

Still in this chapter, Faith Oyedepo goes on to expound, with good references, on the benefits of singleness.

Single With A Difference

In chapter 2, Faith Oyedepo emphasises the need for us to make our foundation sure, for if the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?

According to Faith Oyedepo, a foundation is everything, and nothing can adequately substitute for the need for a solid foundation.

Faith Oyedepo gave a relatable instance of a building with a faulty foundation, taking us back to a topic in our dust-filled high-school geography books,

that teaches us that every building with a faulty foundation must necessarily be pulled down or it will collapse of its own accord like a pack of cards with time.

In the same vein, if your singlehood is not built on the right foundation, your future will likely collapse in no time.

Faith Oyedepo further pinpointed that the quality of success you will ever attain in life and destiny hinges on the quality of foundation you lay in your single years,

and that you cannot experience a glorious future without paying attention to your foundation in your single years.

Dear Singles!

What kind of foundation are you laying for your future?

In this chapter, I’d recommend you explore and examine with Faith Oyedepo some profound principles you must have in your quest to ensure a solid foundation while being single.

Single With A Difference

In chapter 3, Faith Oyedepo admonishes us to locate the reason for our existence.

Many people today define their lives based on the circumstances that surround their birth and existence, not based on who God says we are or why He created us.

Faith Oyedepo states firmly that even if some people were born out of wedlock, they did not just happen or appear on earth by mistake, and that they exist for a particular reason.

The reason is not for us to determine, for it was already predetermined by God before our existence.

With all sense of responsibility, Faith Oyedepo tells us in this chapter that now that we are still single, this is the best time to find out the reason for our existence.

According to Faith Oyedepo, ‘to miss the reason is to live in misery’.

Dear Singles!

Do you know the reason for your existence?

In case you are confused and do not know the reason for your existence,

dive into this chapter to see more of Faith Oyedepo’s deep insight on how you can locate the singular reason you exist, and you won’t be left clueless.

Single With A Difference

In chapter 4, Faith Oyedepo reawakens our sense of consciousness to start to secure our glorious future in our single days.

She reminds us of God’s thoughts towards us in Jeremiah 29:11, how God loves us so much to think of peace concerning us and even desiring the establishment of our glorious future.

Faith Oyedepo, however, warns that if our glorious future is not well built and secured, it may remain a daydream that may never see the light of day or get fulfilled.

According to Faith Oyedepo, “Inevitably, the future will soon be upon us, “singles”, and tomorrow will soon be today.

As singles, this is the best time to face the future.”

You Study extensively HOW in this chapter.

Single With A Difference

In chapter 5, Faith Oyedepo redirects our minds to be focused!

Faith Oyedepo isn’t far from the truth when she says in this chapter that untold distraction abounds during single years, with many issues calling for our attention.

In agreement with Faith Oyedepo’s stance, many of us truly get easily distracted in our single days:

we focus our time, energy, finances, and attention on frivolities, and that is how we end up failing where unnecessary.

As singles, it is pertinent to know that it is not everything that calls for our attention that we should focus on.

Faith Oyedepo asserts that when we know the necessary areas to focus on in life while single, we can safely concentrate on profiting wonderfully from them.

In this chapter, she goes on to copiously examine key areas we can focus on, especially during our single years,

to live a uniquely different life, gives hands-on knowledge on the things we need to focus on our goals, dreams, and visions,

provides solid biblical examples to inspire us, and reveals the rewards that come from being focused.

Single With A Difference

In chapter 6, Faith Oyedepo reminds us of the reality that we are not useless when we are single.

Rather than spend our single days accommodating evil thoughts in our minds, why can’t we make ourselves useful for good things?

One thing is peculiar to us as young people, and that is our strength.

Faith Oyedepo states that God expects us as young people to channel our strength positively and correctly.

She says that our physical energy is at its best in the days of our youth, while we are still single.

With such strength, the pursuit of our vision will be easy, and we will be most useful.

Our zeal to explore and do amazing things in our youthful days is usually too high.

We shouldn’t bring down such zeal in the place of slothfulness or distractions.

Faith Oyedepo says that we should demonstrate tireless diligence and enthusiastic devotion to fuel our passion to serve, zeal to run, and make ourselves useful.

According to Faith Oyedepo, the importance of the subject of the usefulness of a single person cannot be overemphasised.

She therefore further takes us at length in this chapter through the different ways in which singles can be useful.

Single With A Difference

In chapter 7, Faith Oyedepo discusses the crucial role character plays in our single years.

Faith Oyedepo asserts that there is no better time to build a strong Christian character than during our single years.

Many of us agree with the stance that marriage is a school where some people will grow into maturity.

Maybe such a stance is true, but I doubt that if we don’t have mature characters in our single years, marriage would change us.

According to Faith Oyedepo, the character is a seed that guarantees a good and enviable harvest in later years, and it is the only way to make the most of our single years.

She also pointed out that it is not a gift, nor is it something we should wait for or wish for.

Rather, it is something that must be consciously cultivated.

In this chapter, Faith Oyedepo further shares with us some gems to help us cultivate, develop, grow, sustain, and become a man or woman of good Christian character.

You may ask how possible it is to become such, because, after all, humans are not perfect.

I assure you that while reading through this chapter, you will know better and be inspired to act better.

Single With A Difference

In chapter 8, Faith Oyedepo talks about the choices we make.

She emphasises the need for us to make wise choices, for the choices we make affect our future.

While the good choices enhance our future, the bad choices destroy it.

It is interesting to see how God has enabled us to choose what we want for our lives,

and it is quite unfortunate to see how many young people abuse this gift of choice today.

According to Faith Oyedepo, if only we can take advantage of God’s provision for sound choice-making,

our choices will be satisfying and valuable, and we will never regret any of the choices we make.

In this chapter, Faith Oyedepo goes on to give us practical ways we can make good choices and highlight the rewards that come with them.

Single With A Difference

Chapter 9 talks about the need for us to build sound relationships in our single years, as relationships are vital to destiny.

Faith Oyedepo says that one of the very core areas that affect singles a great deal is relationships,

and the best time to begin building sound, healthy, strong, and meaningful relationships is when we are still single.

Many people feel they can live life alone without anybody’s help; hence, they demean people and downplay the role of people in their lives.

However, it is important to know that nobody can ever live in isolation.

Faith Oyedepo asserts that we all need one another.

We need people to help us get to where we are going in life, no matter what level we are at, and we cannot live on an island of our own, no matter who we are.

In this chapter, Faith Oyedepo further highlights and explains the types of relationships,

and examines certain fundamental factors that must be in place to build sound and meaningful relationships.

Single With A Difference

Chapter 10 delves into the subject we all want to hear about. And that is on “Money!”

Well, sorry to burst your bubbles; this aspect of money may not be the one that tickles your fancy, as it stresses the need for us to be financially responsible.

Truthfully, many singles are not financially responsible; they lavish their money like there won’t be a tomorrow.

Many of them have this mindset that death can show up at any time, so why not use every chance to live your life to the fullest?

That is what drives their extravagant lifestyle.

Faith Oyedepo enlightens that financial irresponsibility coupled with an unholy craving for quick money,

has driven many youths and singles to get themselves involved in all manner of vices such as sexual immorality, robbery, money laundering, etc.

She therefore admonishes that we need to be financially educated,

and the best time to learn the basics of money management is while we are still single, for our financial future is dependent on how responsible we are with money handling today.

In this chapter, Faith Oyedepo goes on to extensively examine some of the basics of money management that enhance financial responsibility.

She further cautions us with a broad overview of the things we must avoid when managing money responsibly.

Single With A Difference

In chapter 11, Faith Oyedepo tells us to mind our carriage and composure.

In the recent language of the Gen Zs in Africa, this should mean that we should maintain and mind our’ steeze and composure’.

Faith Oyedepo observes that one fundamental issue that runs through the lives of many singles is the lack of proper understanding of their worth or importance.

As a result, many of them look to the wrong sources for acceptance, help, comfort, or counsel.

Some even choose the wrong profession, all to cover up.

And Some others go as far as getting themselves involved in all manner of vices, such as cultism, drug abuse, prostitution, etc.

Faith Oyedepo therefore states that the way we carry ourselves affects our worth and acceptance,

and to enhance our worth, we must learn how to carry and comport ourselves appropriately.

Faith Oyedepo makes us understand that little things, such as the way we walk and speak, matter a lot.

So, we should restructure the way we act on those things to match and reflect God’s description of us as His ambassador.

Dear Singles!

How do you conduct yourselves?

In this chapter, Faith Oyedepo goes on to take us on a journey into the secrets of how we can carry and comport ourselves with elegance without any pretence, or ingenuity.

Single With A Difference

Chapter 12 delves into the important subject of overcoming loneliness.

Faith Oyedepo observes that:

“one of the common plagues among youths and singles that is responsible for why many of them rush into relationships, most of which end in regret, is loneliness”.

And in an attempt to alleviate the plague, some have been pressured into taking decisions that have ruined their destinies.

From Faith Oyedepo’s above observation, your mind may take you back to the book of Genesis which says, “It is not good that a man should be alone.”

To debunk our wrong perception of being lonely as singles,

Faith Oyedepo argues clearly that there is a difference between loneliness and being alone and that we can be alone without being lonely.

Being alone is not something that depicts negativity; rather, feeling lonely is something that depicts negativity.

Faith Oyedepo describes loneliness as the awareness that you lack meaningful contact with others.

According to Faith Oyedepo, loneliness involves the feeling of inner emptiness,

which can be accompanied by discouragement, sadness, a sense of isolation, restlessness, and an intense desire to be wanted and needed by someone.

However, to find a permanent solution to any situation, it must be dealt with from the roots.

In this chapter, Faith Oyedepo further critically examines the root causes of loneliness and provides multiple ways we can overcome loneliness.

Single With A Difference

Chapter 13 finally brings up the subject of a very common challenge almost every bachelor and bachelorette faces today:

the challenge of family and societal pressure on them to get married.

Faith Oyedepo acknowledges that such a period for singles is very challenging.

Therefore, she begins this chapter by making us aware that delay is not denial and that God will give us the greatest positive surprise of our lives if we hold on to His word.

You may be curious and want to know how best to handle family pressure as a bachelor or as a bachelorette.

In this chapter, Faith Oyedepo not only provided us with ways we can handle family pressure, but she also opened our eyes to certain dangers we must beware of at this stage of our lives.

Finally, in preparing for marriage, Faith Oyedepo gives us a vivid exposition in four different segments of what adequate preparation for marriage entails in Chapter 14.

Is it not absurd to see how much time people spend preparing for a marriage ceremony that will last for just a couple of hours;

without paying attention to the lifetime that lies ahead after the ceremony?

Faith Oyedepo says that the above concern explains why more marriages are breaking down today than ever, even in the church.

The church pews are now filled with many broken-hearted people due to failed marriages.

However, yours will be an exemption if you pay attention to the wealth of knowledge on marriage discussed in this chapter.

If you by any chance doubt Faith Oyedepo’s insights in this book,

or you probably feel unmoved by the cautions, admonitions, facts, experiences, and knowledge that Faith Oyedepo has shared to help you live a single life that will lead you into a glorious future,

do not fail to read Chapter 15 of this book, where she shares the amazing testimonies of some singles who were positively different in various life endeavours.

Faith Oyedepo leaves us with an assurance that those testimonies will surely kindle our hope, and the effect will be seen by all.

As singles, I think you should add this book to your library and study it repeatedly, and you will be forever grateful for it!

Also Read: GROWING IN WISDOM – Diademng (thediademng.org)

Single With A Difference