Raising Children To Become Better Youth.

“If you are not ready, you rather not”:

Sometimes there’s a misconstruing of this to hang on just financial readiness, and while that is very important, there’s a need for other pedestals that parenting stands upon.

Author: Aboderin Enoch Timilehin

Significantly, raising better youth is not about a single approach but about weaving diverse values that include self-awareness, humanism, and a respect for diverse perspectives.

At some points as we grow and get defined perspectives of who we are,

personally, I am able to tell what character trait I have picked up due to firm parenting from my folks,

and some areas of my person that came as a result of conscious decisions to trail a different path from that which I have seen. 

Unfortunately, the individual journeys we have taken to get to various places in our lives are not seen by mere sight-seeing when people relate to us;

rather, they get to see what is available;

sometimes we might get to clear out misconceptions about our persons;

other times we are not afforded a second chance to make first impressions. 

As adults generally, I know a lot of us have taken finite steps to move away from who we were raised as and the journey to rebirthing a new person.

Raising Children To Become Better Youth.

Learning, unlearning, and relearning is no small commitment,

and this is why for generations to come as adults who are re-emerging and recreating our persona,

we must do a rather thorough job in tending to the ones that are coming from our loins and the generation to come more holistically. 

I will begin on this note: If you are not ready, you rather not.

Most times when I get to have conversations around readiness to become a parent,

sometimes there’s a misconstruing of this to hang on just financial readiness, and while that is very important,

there’s a need for other pedestals that parenting stands upon.

Raising Children To Become Better Youth.

Parenting readiness stands on important pedestals as;

Emotional readiness: 

Are you prepared for the emotional rollercoaster of parenthood? Can you handle the challenges and sacrifices involved?

Relationship stability: 

Is your relationship with your partner strong and supportive? Are you both committed to building families together?

Individual goals and aspirations: 

How will parenthood align with your personal and career goals? Are you willing to make the necessary adjustments?

While these are basic rubrics that lay the foundations of raising children holistically, they are also very core areas to ensure they are properly woven. 

Parenting is not a game of luck or a game of chance;

therefore, it is important to have all cards spelled out while embarking on the journey,

and while I would also agree that the dynamism involved in parenting also creates an “on the spot” situation, an “on the job” learning.

It is highly inadvisable to enter into this journey without proper knowledge,

otherwise, the goal of raising holistic children would be defeated.

Raising Children To Become Better Youth.

How do we raise kids right?

First agree on a parenting style (https://enochtimi.wordpress.com/2022/05/23/parenting/ ). You can view the blog post on parenting styles. 

Choosing a parenting style is important because it can significantly impact your child’s development, behaviour, and overall well-being. 

Your parenting approach can influence how your child feels about themselves and can be shaped by your interactions and expectations.

And Your parenting style can help develop or hinder your child’s ability to interact with others. 

A supportive and encouraging parenting style can positively influence a child’s academic success.

Your approach to parenting can affect your child’s emotional stability and resilience.

Future relationships:

The way you parent can influence your child’s future relationships, both romantic and platonic.

It is important to know that while there are different parenting styles, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

The best parenting style for you may vary depending on your child’s individual needs, your personal values, and the specific situation. 

One of the ways I get to prescribe a parenting plan for new parents aside from the umbrella parenting styles that are known;

is by asking intending parents to note various parts of their childhood that they struggle to reconcile and how this has impacted the lives they live as adults.

This way, you are able to identify traits that are undesirable, and you would be able to work intentionally so that it is not replicated in your kids.

Humanism:

Humanism, a broad band that encompasses and emphasises human potential, reason, and compassion, offers a realistic universal framework for raising children.

It teaches a sense of empathy, critical thinking, and a respect for diversity, preparing children for a complex and interconnected world. 

Humanism teaches children to recognise and appreciate the perspectives and experiences of others.

This fosters empathy and compassion, making them more likely to treat others with kindness and respect.

Like I would sometimes say to folks around me, you do not need to agree with every ideology,

but you can peacefully coexist without challenging and dismissing ones you do not agree with;

this promotes a celebration of diversity, valuing different cultures, beliefs, and backgrounds. 

This helps children develop an open-minded and inclusive worldview.

By understanding and respecting diversity, children are less likely to engage in prejudice or discrimination. 

Humanism teaches empathy that helps children build strong social relationships, contributing to their overall well-being and happiness.

Humanistic parenting encourages children to question assumptions, think critically, and seek evidence-based solutions.

This equips them with the tools to navigate challenges and make informed decisions.

Humanistic values provide a moral compass for children, guiding them towards ethical behaviour and helping them make sound judgements. 

There is emphasis on personal responsibility and accountability, encouraging children to take ownership of their actions and their impact on others.

Humanism fosters a lifelong love of learning by encouraging children to be curious and explore the world around them.

A commitment to lifelong learning helps children adapt to change and embrace new opportunities.

By developing critical thinking skills, children become better problem-solvers, capable of finding creative and effective solutions to difficulties. 

By incorporating humanistic principles into their parenting, parents can provide their children with a strong foundation for a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Humanism helps children develop into compassionate, thoughtful, and responsible individuals who are well-equipped to contribute positively to society. 

Raising Children To Become Better Youth.

Faith:

More recently, I have come across a lot of arguments concerning the inclusion of faith in raising children;

by faith, I generally mean religion,

and while I understand the logic behind some of these arguments—some of the arguments that state the non-inclusiveness faith can pose—frankly, I agree with these schools of thought.

Also, while my argument here would be closely related to the humanistic principles discussed above,

I would start from the standpoint where I earlier mentioned the erasure of lifestyles and ideologies that do not suit individual and evolving global practices.

However, faith often provides clear moral guidelines and values that can help children distinguish right from wrong.

These guidelines can contribute to the development of important character traits such as honesty, kindness, and compassion.

Faith can offer a sense of purpose and meaning, helping children understand their place in the world and their role in life. 

The sense of purpose can also foster hope and resilience, enabling children to cope with challenges and setbacks.

Also, religious communities often provide a strong sense of community and belonging, offering children support and a network of caring individuals.

Faith can encourage children to engage in spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, or service, which can promote inner reflection and growth.

I know it is important to add faith to your parenting journey,

but while faith can be a positive influence on child development, it’s crucial to foster it in a respectful and inclusive manner.

Significantly, raising better youth is not about a single approach,

but about weaving diverse values that include self-awareness, humanism, and a respect for diverse perspectives.

By empowering our children with critical thinking skills, empathy, and a sense of responsibility,

we can create a future filled with better individuals and a more positive world.

From my heart to yours

Enoch Oluwatimilehin Aboderin

Also Read: Creating a Safe Space for Children’s Healthy Growth. – Diademng (thediademng.org)

Raising Children To Become Better Youth.