Nervous Breakthrough

Nervous Breakthrough: Finding Freedom from Fear and Anxiety in a World that Feeds It.

                                                -Christy Boulware 

I believe control is an illusion that leads you down a dead-end street. My dead-end started when my primary care physician looked at me and said, Christy, you have severe panic and anxiety disorder.

Nothing stops you faster than a diagnosis that slows you down. With anxiety disorders on the rise, many are experiencing these slowdowns.

Regularly, the world tells us to believe we can control our destiny, manifest success, create opportunities, and control our circumstances. Those big ideas contain some truth, along with some significant lies. The lies packed into these truths are poisonous, and even if the truths outweigh the lies, just a little bit of poison can still kill you.

I believe that the ultimate source of truth is the Word of God, the Bible. God’s Word is right, good, authentic, genuine, and true. John 8:32 declares that the Word is truth and that walking in the truth will set you free.

With the journey I have endured, I sincerely believe in the truth. We are not the heroes of our stories; Jesus is. He is the ultimate source of truth. I have lived the life of thinking I’am the hero. Plus, I tried the “there is no truth, live your truth” approach, and it got me nowhere but a nervous breakdown. The truth found in John 14:6 says, Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (NLT).

Many self-help books, even those referred to as Christian, present lies as truths that contradict the Bible. For example, Proverbs 28:26 is crystal clear on self-help: ‘’Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe’ (NIV). Let’s be honest: “a surrendered-life-to-Jesus-help is not as popular as self-help”. In fact, there is not even a sale category for it. The point is: self-help is no help at all.

There is a big difference between healthy planning and the disorder of manifesting control in your life. Planning is biblical. In fact, a popular verse that gets quoted regarding planning is, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps” (Prov. 16:9 NIV).

There is nothing wrong with a good solid plan, but do you hold that plan loosely? Are you willing to lay that plan down if the Lord leads you in a new direction? The world so influences our lives that it is rare to study or practice living a life submitted to God. Making my own plans led to destructive and alarming results. I controlled my circumstances to help manage the deep fears and anxieties I had inside. “Nervous Breakthrough: Finding Freedom from Fear and Anxiety in a World that Feeds It.”

Control is exhausting, and it comes with a high price.

According to WebMD, “People with anxiety disorders feel a need to control everything around them in order to feel at peace.” The writer of the article indicates that control and anxiety disorders go hand in hand.

Let’s do some digging to make sense of what WebMD is trying to teach us. What is at the root of control? When I control, I’m trying to protect my peace. How does one ‘’feel’’ at peace? By taking control. I liked to control things by dominating every situation. It’s evident by the diagnosis I received, severe panic and anxiety disorder. Peace did not result from that control. -Nervous Breakthrough: Finding Freedom from Fear and Anxiety in a World that Feeds It.

What are your controlling ways?

• Do you always have to be right?
• Do you try to determine outcomes in advance to move things in your favor?
• Do you rarely take the blame?
• Do you like being the center of attention?
• Do you rarely seek advice from others?
• Do you like the way you do things best and therefore seldom rely on others for help?
• Do you like to micromanage people?
• Do you constantly check your bank statements and stock performances?
• Do you speak white lies from time to time to make your situation look better?

Is something else coming to your mind that you do to take control of a situation? Let’s stop right here. Part of overcoming a problem is acknowledging a problem. – Nervous Breakthrough: Finding Freedom from Fear and Anxiety in a World that Feeds It.

Now it’s time to evaluate. Does the outcome of those statements you just identified bring peace? Hopefully, I have got your thoughts flowing and you are processing the question, What is peace?

To answer that clearly, I think we must define or perhaps redefine peace. Is peace a feeling or a state of being? For example, can you feel peace when the circumstances around you are crumbling? ‘Absolutely not’ is how I would have answered that question pre-nervous breakdown. I assumed that peace is something you achieve, something that manifests when you follow all the proper steps and manage yourself in a way that is free of disturbances.

The world seems to preach that peace is possible when no fear or violence is present. Interestingly, there is no shortage of fear and violence among us.

The increasing number of conflicts and amount of hatred toward one another and rising fear and anxiety disorders don’t seem to highlight a peaceful world.

This leads me to the question at hand: Can peace be achieved by checking all the right boxes and doing the right yoga moves? Is it possible to enter a state of tranquility or Zen managed by you? Do we have the power to cultivate peace from within? What if the world has got it wrong, and peace is a person?

What if the solution to control is surrender, and surrender leads to peace? The world teaches us to never wave the white flag. Always keep going. Don’t you dare show weakness. Keep on keeping on. Hustle harder.

The world offers no accolades to surrender; it frowns upon it. Surrender paints signs of weakness. What if surrender is a strength?

Please follow me closely: I’m not proposing surrendering to the world, but I’m asking you to ponder what it would look like to surrender to Jesus, the person who is the Prince of Peace.

What if peace is a state of being that starts with surrendering to the Prince of Peace?

Stop and process what peace is to you.

I believe it is impossible to overcome anxiety without building your faith. As I like to put it, the Bible is a prescription that cannot be overdosed. The Bible contains hundreds of passages that urge us not to walk in fear.

The spirit of fear is not from God. Peace is from God, and we walk in the peace of God by knowing the Word of God. To help you build your faith muscles. Meditating on what God says about fear will bring peace to your life.

Jesus, seeing a doctor, and Christian therapy are the top three things I credit that helped me overcome severe panic and anxiety disorder. It took eighteen months to get to a point when I felt like a normal, functioning, productive adult. It took me years to get into that mess; I’m grateful it only took me eighteen months to get out of it. – Nervous Breakthrough: Finding Freedom from Fear and Anxiety in a World that Feeds It.

The point is to have grace with your healing process. Don’t rush it, and don’t delay it either, but while you are healing, don’t stop opening and memorizing Gods’ words.