Male or Female, Every Child is Important!

I am a mother of eight female children.

If only I and my husband were rich, and my husband was sensible enough to know and do the right thing—perform his duties as a father—

and accept what Providence had offered him wholeheartedly, life would have made a lot of sense for me and my children.

I was also partly responsible for our mistakes as a couple;

But I always respected my husband’s decision, whether he was right or not.

We gave birth to 8 children not because we loved having children;

we kept on giving birth to children like rabbits in our quest to have a male child;

This was due to my husband’s belief that a male child would bear his name forever, thus sustaining his manhood and legacy.

The female child would, however, get married to another man and change her name; thus, his name wouldn’t be heard anymore.

We ignored the fact that we were poor!

and that even when we had no children, we found it difficult to provide for and cater for our needs, not to mention now that we have eight children.

Where do we start from in meeting all their needs now?

Whenever people asked why I decided to give birth to such an unusual number of children despite being poor, my reply was:

“It is God that gives children, so anytime God says I should stop giving birth, I will stop.”

Male or Female, Every Child is Important!

I was probably awaiting a still small voice or a very deep, manly voice from the heavens to tell me to stop.

I gave birth to my first set of twins; they were girls, and we were very happy since we had not reached our targeted goal for the number of children we planned to have.

We planned on having just four children, so we felt there was still hope for us in our desire for a male child.

However, the next delivery put paid to our plans, as I gave birth to triplets—all girls, amounting to 5 girls!

This dashed our hopes, as we had already exceeded our family planning goal.

My husband nevertheless was relentless in his quest; all he wanted was a male child,

so, he laid with me again, got me pregnant the third time, and to the glory of God, we gave birth to another child,

but contrary to expectations, it was a girl child again.

I was gripped by fear as I wondered what my husband would say or do this time around.

Would he still pounce on me in an attempt to bear him another child, or would he send me packing?

My husband wasn’t happy with this.

Apart from the first set of twins we gave birth to, he saw the other four girls as a mistake.

His desire to have a male child was unrelenting.

He felt nothing was wrong with giving birth to as many children as possible, so long as it yielded a male child.

After all, all he needed to do was have sex with me !

…while I bore the labour pangs and pain alone, carrying the child in my womb for 9 months, and then giving birth to the child in labour.

He had no idea how I felt; his sole focus was on satisfying himself with what he most desired.

My husband, yet again, cajoled me once more to lay with him in the hope of getting a male child this time around.

I tried resisting, but I couldn’t.

He was all over me, forcing himself on me, and besides, I wouldn’t deny the fact that I enjoyed his touch and kisses—

he is a very fine male specimen who could easily make any woman want him.

I was careless;

And I could have said no! Even, I could have run, but I ended up ‘sleeping’ with him again without thinking.

If God wills that I get pregnant for my husband again, so be it, for He (God) is the one who gives children.

Male or Female, Every Child is Important!

Fortunately, I became pregnant again, and we were happy, expecting a male child.

However, it turned out to be another set of female twins.

My husband couldn’t take it anymore;

he insulted me, calling me a witch, saying I was the reason behind him not having conceived a male child, and calling me bad luck.

Rather than sending me packing out of his house, he gathered his belongings and left the house, leaving me alone to cater for eight children.

Now, we struggle to survive.

Out of the 8 children, it was only my last set of twins that remained with me; the other 6 had gone to places I had no idea of.

I let them go, hoping they would meet benefactors because I could not meet their needs. 

They were just innocent children we brought into this life to suffer. We failed as parents!

Every child is a blessing; every child is important, be it male or female.

We should learn to cherish both.

Irrespective of the gender of the child you conceive in marriage, male or female, accept them and focus on their growth; both could make you proud.

Also, don’t start what you can’t finish; avoid excuses; and do not succumb to pressures.

Do what you can, but don’t go beyond what you can’t do.

Male or Female, Every Child is Important!

Also from the Author: The Devil Is Not Always Scary but Attractive! – Diademng (thediademng.org)

Check: Child rights and why they matter | UNICEF