Decoding Love Languages: A Christian Dating Guide.
The Five Love Languages.
Have you heard of the five love languages?
In this message, we’re sharing what each of the love languages mean and how Jesus embodied them perfectly.
With this knowledge, you can deepen your connection and show your partner they’re truly valued.
Decoding Love Languages: A Christian Dating Guide.
By: FrontGate Media
Have you heard of the five love languages (a concept coined by pastor Gary Chapman)?
Love languages are the ways we give and receive love.
Everyone has their own personal recipe for feeling loved—
it could be words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch.
Knowing someone’s love language can enhance your communication and connection while dating.
While you won’t find the term “love language” in the Bible, the concept of each love language is highlighted throughout Scripture, particularly through the life of Jesus.
So, let’s dive in and learn how to apply each action to our relationships, just like He did—starting with Words of Affirmation.
Decoding Love Languages: A Christian Dating Guide.
Words of Affirmation
Matthew 3:17
“And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.’”
What It Means
This love language focuses on verbal expressions of love and appreciation.
People with this love language feel loved when they receive compliments, words of encouragement, or verbal acknowledgment of their achievements.
This love language thrives on the power of spoken words to uplift and reassure.
It’s all about making sure your partner hears why and how much they matter to you.
How Jesus Showed This Love Language
Jesus frequently used words to affirm and encourage those around Him.
For instance, in Matthew 3:17, at Jesus’ baptism, God declared, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
Here, Jesus receives direct verbal affirmation from God, exemplifying the importance of expressing love and approval through words.
Additionally, in John 11:25-26, Jesus comforts Martha by affirming her faith, saying, “I am the resurrection and the life.
The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.”
Through these instances, Jesus demonstrated the significant impact that words of affirmation can have on individuals,
offering comfort, encouragement, and reassurance of His love and presence.
How to Show Love to Someone with This Love Language
Compliment them regularly, tell them what you love or appreciate about them (get specific!), and express your feelings verbally.
Don’t underestimate the power of a heartfelt note or a surprise text message to brighten their day.
Remember, it’s not just about what you say but how you say it—sincerity makes all the difference.
Matthew 3:17 KJV
[17] and lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
https://bible.com/bible/1/mat.3.17.KJV
Decoding Love Languages: A Christian Dating Guide.
Acts of Service
John 13:3-5
Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;
So, He got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.
After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
John 13:12-17
“When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place.
‘Do you understand what I have done for you?’ he asked them.
‘You call me “Teacher” and “Lord,” and rightly so, for that is what I am.
Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.
I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.’”
Another love language Jesus exemplified in a big way is Acts of Service.
What It Means
For people with this love language, actions speak louder than words.
They feel loved when someone does something for them, like helping with chores or running errands.
It’s the effort and thoughtfulness behind the action that truly makes them feel cherished and valued.
How Jesus Showed This Love Language
Jesus exemplified this love language profoundly when He washed His disciples’ feet in John 13:3-5, 12-17.
Before the Last Supper, Jesus, the Master and Lord, took on the role of a servant by washing His disciples’ feet,
an act that was both humble and deeply significant.
He said, “You call me Teacher and Lord, and rightly so, for that is what I am.
Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.
I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”
Through this act, Jesus demonstrated the importance of serving others to express love,
showing that true greatness comes through serving.
How to Show Love to Someone with This Love Language
Offering to help with tasks they find burdensome,
surprising them by doing something they didn’t expect, or simply asking, “How can I help you today?” can go a long way.
Be attentive to their needs and take initiative without being asked.
This shows you care and are willing to put in effort for their happiness.
Remember, it’s the little things that count, so even small gestures can make a big impact on someone whose love language is acts of service.
John 13:3-5 KJV
[3] Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God;
[4] he riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself.
[5] After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.
https://bible.com/bible/1/jhn.13.3-5.KJV
Decoding Love Languages: A Christian Dating Guide.
Receiving Gifts
Matthew 2:11
“On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him.
Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.”
Most of us enjoy getting a present, but for those whose love language is Receiving Gifts, it makes them feel extra loved.
What It Means
People with this love language value thoughtfulness and effort behind gifts.
The gift doesn’t have to be expensive; it’s the sentiment behind it that counts.
What matters most is that the gift reflects a genuine understanding and appreciation of the person receiving it.
How Jesus Showed This Love Language
One way Jesus demonstrated the value of giving can be seen through the gifts of the Magi in Matthew 2:11, where it’s recorded,
“On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him.
Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”
While Jesus was the receiver in this instance, the gifts were symbolic, rich in meaning, and offered with deep reverence.
This reflects the importance of thoughtfulness and significance behind each gift, aligning with the principle of this love language.
How to Show Love to Someone with This Love Language
Give them thoughtful gifts regularly,
surprise them with their favorite things,
or make something for them–handmade gifts that don’t cost a thing are just as special.
Pay close attention to their likes, dislikes, and the subtle hints they drop when they talk about what makes them happy.
Celebrating the big occasions and everyday moments with small tokens of love can make all the difference,
showing them they’re always on your mind.
Matthew 2:11 KJV
[11] And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother,
and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.
https://bible.com/bible/1/mat.2.11.KJV
Decoding Love Languages: A Christian Dating Guide.
Quality Time
Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.
She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.
She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’
‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.
Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”
Jesus spent most of His time on earth pouring into people, highlighting the value of Quality Time.
What It Means
This love language is all about undivided attention.
People with this love language feel most loved when someone spends quality time with them, engaging in meaningful conversations or shared activities.
It’s not just about being in the same room; it’s about focusing all your energy on them and making them feel valued.
How Jesus Showed This Love Language
Jesus consistently made time for individual interactions and deep conversations, valuing quality time with those around Him.
A notable instance is found in Luke 10:38-42, during His visit to Mary and Martha’s home.
While Martha was busy with preparations, Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet, listening to His teachings.
Jesus acknowledged Mary’s choice as the better one,
emphasizing the importance of prioritizing personal connection and spiritual nourishment over busyness,
highlighting the value of quality time in building relationships.
How to Show Love to Someone with This Love Language
Dedicate time to be with them without distractions, plan special dates or activities, and show interest in their thoughts and feelings.
Make an effort to create moments that allow you to connect on a deeper level, whether it’s a quiet evening walk or a night in talking about dreams and ideas.
Remember, it’s about making the person feel important and loved through the gift of your time and full attention.
Luke 10:38-42 KJV
[38] Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. [
39] And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
[40] But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
[41] And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
[42] but one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
Decoding Love Languages: A Christian Dating Guide.
Physical Touch
Mark 1:41
Jesus was indignant. He reached out his hand and touched the man. ‘I am willing,’ he said. ‘Be clean!’”
While not everyone is a “touchy” person, for those whose love language is Physical Touch, even the smallest physical gesture can speak volumes.
What It Means
For people with this love language, physical touch is a powerful communicator of love.
They appreciate hugs, holding hands, and other forms of physical connection.
Simple, yet profound, physical gestures serve as a tangible representation of love and connection.
How Jesus Showed This Love Language
Jesus frequently used touch to convey His love and healing, reflecting the deep significance of physical contact.
In Mark 1:41, moved with compassion, Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man with leprosy, saying,
“I am willing, be clean!”
At a time when lepers were untouchable and marginalized,
Jesus’ willingness to touch the man not only healed him physically but also sent a powerful message of inclusion and love.
How to Show Love to Someone with This Love Language
A big hug after a long day or a simple hand-squeeze during a movie conveys a sense of connection and comfort that words often can’t.
It’s important to note that this touch is about conveying affection and care outside of sexual contact, emphasizing the emotional bond and sense of security it brings.
Knowing how someone gives and receives love can elevate your dating relationship.
Just as Jesus showed love through each of the five love languages, you can also mirror this approach to deepen your connection and show your partner they’re truly valued.
Mark 1:41 KJV
[41] And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean.
https://bible.com/bible/1/mrk.1.41.KJV
Decoding Love Languages: A Christian Dating Guide
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