Beyond Grades: Balancing Expectations and Support
By prioritising support, fostering inclusivity, and setting realistic expectations, we can create a learning environment where all children can thrive.
Author: Aboderin Enoch Timilehin
Support children by setting realistic expectations for them, being able to hold discussions about your expectations and their hurdles in achieving them,
prioritising their well-being and fostering an inclusive environment where they can thrive.
while parental expectations play a crucial role in a child’s academic achievement,
it’s vital to recognise that these expectations must be realistic and supported by proper identification of any underlying learning challenges.
Beyond Grades: Balancing Expectations and Support
In Nigeria -West Africa, September marks the start of the new academic year.
Mostly, as an adult now, reflecting on the ritual of getting set for the year, we got ‘newer’ everything, from boxers to uniforms, etc.
I believe there was an unsaid cold war amongst children on who got the best.
That starter was necessary to understand what the school culture in Nigeria is, and to be fair, not every school was stellar.
I mean, looking back, the folks who went to the Michelin schools were not necessarily in the streets comparing items bought for school.
Regardless, even with the lower-grade community schools we attended, one thing is undeniable:
the efforts of our parents and the Nuclear community in striving that however difficult it was, we got to go to school.
Now grown and pursuing a career in child and educational psychology,
I quite now understand the proportionality of these school cultures we have built and their relationship to parental expectations, in particular their academics.
Parental expectations are a well-dimmed first shot in this pitch;
and parental expectations play a significant role in shaping a child’s academic performance.
Beyond Grades: Balancing Expectations and Support
Research has found that children with high parental expectations tend to have higher academic achievement.
A lot of Nigerians would agree with me that having Nigerian parents is synonymous with high academic expectations,
and truthfully, not every parent or guardian puts in the work to ensure their expectations are met.
However, having high expectations generally does not result in having high achievement, and we are talking about academics for context.
It is also important to state that children also have expectations for themselves;
they might or might not communicate them. Children covet the best of gifts also.
In Nigeria, where we have these end-of-term and year awards, children want to be part of those kids who get presented with an award also,
so, in all honesty, the child is working on the steroids of parental and self-expectation.
Understanding that the expectations do not always yield the expected results,
this is from the angle that all things being equal on their part,
there has been adequate preparation and effort to ensure this happens.
What happens is that the child feels let down in themselves and very much feels that they have let down their parents and community around them.
For them, it can be that severe and devastating.
As a parent, teacher, guardian, and anyone who tends to and attends to children who are in this scenario,
I am diverting a little, but this very reason is the ultimate importance of keeping records of children for proper tracking.
From observation, one can tell if this is a one-off occurrence or if there has been a pattern of this.
When it is established that there has been a pattern that suggests the child is significantly below their peers in learning,
this raises the brow that there could be a challenge somewhere.
I feel that not every child would be an “All A” student.
In the context of this post, I am referring to students who are significantly below academic achievements.
The first thing that a parent should do in this situation is to acknowledge that there is an issue that delays academic excellence.
Beyond Grades: Balancing Expectations and Support
Having had an experience in the classroom,
the first roadblock for students who need learning support is the acknowledgement of parents to the situation;
quite a number of times even children can tell that they have a challenge with their learning.
There comes a conflict in the acknowledgement of the issue because the teachers in their space have reported over time a gap in academic achievement,
the child unable to tell what exactly also recognises that there is a problem.
So, there is an expectation that would not be met because there is an unsolved problem at hand.
The issue could stem from a one-off happening, selective mutism;
it could also be bullying; it could also be neuro divergency not being identified.
These are very serious issues that should be identified and dealt with.
I am a little biased on neurodivergency because in Nigeria, it is a topic that is often shied away from,
and I believe there are no statistics that accurately reflect the number of children that are dealing with various neurodivergency issues.
Neurodivergence is a term used to describe individuals whose brains function differently from what is considered “typical.”
It encompasses a wide range of conditions that affect how people think, learn, and interact (Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)).
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Dyslexia Tourette’s Syndrome Dyspraxia).
For neurodivergence issues, early intervention goes a long way to ensuring great outcomes.
The second thing I would highlight is identification.
After speculation that there might be an issue, it becomes necessary to identify what exactly the issue might be and not interchange something for another.
That there is an academic underachievement does not proportionally translate to saying a neuro divergency issue is at play;
it could be classroom management, or it could be a vast load of other things at play.
The question moves to how we identify what the issue is.
That is where the school community comes in, the school psychologist, so it takes a “speak up,”
either from the school or you who tends to a child, and the investigation begins.
I must say that this is not a time to throw blame on the child for why they spoke up late and whatnot.
Now because I am taking a bias for neurodivergency issues,
although there are not so many of them, there are places where children’s assessments for these conditions are carried out.
You can reach out, and we will point you in the right direction.
For some of these conditions, the child would need to be in a specialised environment to cater to their needs.
Beyond Grades: Balancing Expectations and Support
Support is the last thing I will be touching on in this post.
After we have discovered what the issue is, we must support the children in question to ensure that they are not overwhelmed by the situation.
We must hold their hands and walk through the journey of this discovery with them, as well as ensure that they are faring well mentally.
A bible verse comes to mind: “A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?
Proverbs 17:22 KJV
[22] A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: But a broken spirit drieth the bones.
https://bible.com/bible/1/pro.17.22.KJV
At no point must we dampen the spirit and minds of children in the pursuit of academic excellence;
while it is important, our chase for it must not traumatise children.
Support children by setting realistic expectations for them,
being able to hold discussions about your expectations and their hurdles in achieving them,
prioritising their well-being, and fostering an inclusive environment where they can thrive.
In conclusion,
while parental expectations play a crucial role in a child’s academic achievement,
it’s vital to recognise that these expectations must be realistic and supported by proper identification of any underlying learning challenges.
Early intervention for issues like neurodivergence can significantly improve outcomes.
Schools and carers should work together to create a supportive environment where children feel comfortable speaking up about their difficulties.
Open communication, coupled with professional assessments, can lead to a proper diagnosis and the development of a personalised learning plan.
Remember, academic success is important, but it should never come at the expense of a child’s mental well-being.
By prioritising support, fostering inclusivity, and setting realistic expectations, we can create a learning environment where all children can thrive.
Also Read: Raising Children To Become Better Youth. – Diademng (thediademng.org)
Beyond Grades: Balancing Expectations and Support
